The Misadventures of Shell and Fancy
by Winter Blue Dragon
Summary: "It's not like Organization 13 is going to fall from the sky-" Both of their laughing ceased when they heard multiple thumps on the roof...  How will these two "normal" girls handle living with Organization 13? What chaos will ensure? Better than summay
1. Chapter 1

Go Fish and Surprises

**~I only own Fancy, Shell belongs to ****Zaikia**

_The man that runs away, lives to die another day.  
>- <em>_A. E. Housman_

…

"Got any twos?"

"Go fish."

Currently Shell Hartford and Fancy Jean were playing 'Go Fish' while eating popcorn, from a bowl in the middle of the floor. Lightning stuck outside and Fancy sighed.

"Hurricane Irene is coming." Fancy informed. "I know it is!"

"Yeah, yeah," Shell waved her hand slightly while looking at her cards. "Any fours?"

"Go fish."

"We need boyfriends." Fancy looked at her friend.

"What brought this up?" Fancy giggled slightly.

"It's Friday and we're playing 'Go Fish'!" Shell laughed. "We need Organization 13! That's what we need!"

"It's not like Organization 13 is going to from the sky-" Both of their laughing ceased when they heard multiple thumps on the roof. "What was that?"

"Maybe it was Santa," Shell replied sarcastically while Fancy threw a pillow at her friend. "It was most likely a branch that fell."

"Let's go see!" Fancy shot up and ran to the door. Shell got up as well and they both walked out of the door. Shell and Fancy walked off the porch and into the pouring rain. They looked to the roof and saw something amazing; Organization 13 was on the roof…

Their jaws dropped as they watched some members get up. The first one to stand was Xemnas, of course. Xemnas jumped from the roof and landed right in front Shell and Fancy.

"Who are you?" He asked calmly. Fancy gaped at him while Shell replied.

"I'm Shell a-and she's Fancy…" Shell trailed off and just stared at him. "You're real…"

"It's not like a shit load of money would just fall from the sky!" Fancy held her arms out and stared at the sky for a full three seconds. "Damn it!"

"What is wrong with her?" Xemnas asked Shell.

"Don't ask," The brunette replied. "Why are you here?"

"I'll explain when all of my men and women are awake." Xemnas looked to the roof to see Saïx already standing up.

"Superior?"Saïx furrowed his eye brows. "Where are we?"

"I thought I was dead!" Demyx yelled from behind Saïx.

"As did I," Vexen replied while standing. He walked over to Axel and kicked him in the gut. "Wake up you!"

"Go away Vexen," Mumbled Axel. Axel jumped up a stared at Vexen in disbelief. "V-Vexen, I thought, I thought-"

"That I was dead?" Vexen snapped. "Axel, so help me, I'm going to kill you!" Axel stepped back slightly.

"Not if I get to him first!" At that moment Lexicon came crashing down onto Axel's skull, thus knocking the redhead out. Zexion panted slightly while he held Lexicon up. He held the book under one arm while he kicked Axel off the roof. Fancy laughed at the scene and waved at Zexion.

"Hi Zexy!" The bluenette yelled.

"Looks like someone has an admirer." Marluxia chuckled.

"You're dead too!" Vexen yelled while trying to strangle Marluxia. Shell started to laugh with Fancy as they watched Vexen chased Marluxia around the roof.

"Five on Vexen." Fancy whispered to Shell.

"You're on!" And with that they shook hands and continued to watch the amusing scene.

"Enough!" Xemnas boomed, making the others look at him. Fancy squeaked and hid behind Shell.

"Quit yelling!" Fancy yelled at him. Lightning struck and Shell looked to Xemnas.

"Maybe we should go inside," Shell informed. "We're all getting soaked." And with that, they walked into the house. "You can just leave your coats on the porch."

Fancy threw her hoodie off and walked off to find some towels. She returned with sixteen towels and accidently tripped over the bowl off popcorn, sending her tumbling over. Unfortunately, Zexion was the one to break her fall. The two fell over onto the floor, the towels scattered all over the place, and Shell was laughing her ass off. Fancy sat up and glared at Shell.

"It's not funny!" She snapped. She looked over to see Zexion rubbing his head while sitting up. "You alright?"

"Hn."

"It's midget love!" Xigbar laughed while Fancy glared at him.

"I am not a midget!" She snapped. "I'm not done growing yet!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," He waved her off while chuckling. "Keep telling yourself that," Fancy threw a towel at him and he caught it with ease. She glared at him while she passed towels around. Shell laughed at her immature friend and started to dry her long hair.

"You can use the dining room to tell us why you are here." Shell informed Xemnas. He nodded and Shell led the way to the dining room. Fancy fallowed everyone but stopped when she noticed something…

"Where's Axel?" She asked the others.

"I think he's still outside." Vexen replied.

Fancy sighed and walked back outside. She returned shortly after, pulling Axel in by his arm. He was soaked to the bone, his hair had mutable sticks in it, he had bruises on his arms (Fancy pulled his coat off), and he was still knock out. Fancy left him in the living room and made her way to the dining room. Most of the members sat at the table while some stood. The order of the members was this (Starting from the head of the table, going to the right); Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saïx, and Luxord. Marluxia, Larxene, Roxas, Xion, Demyx, Shell, and Fancy were standing.

"Alright, what's going on?" Xaldin looked to the superior. Xemnas sighed and started to explain.

"A while back, I figured that something would happen and we would die," Xemnas started. "I did some research and found out about this world. This world is the world of rebirth. I was able to cast a spell on us to make it where we would not die, just weaken and be sent here. Unfortunately it only works if we are all defeated. We are still Nobodies, but we can learn from our mistakes and defeat Sora, once and for all."

"What about me and Xion?" Roxas piped in. "She choose to merge with me and I choose to merge with Sora. How is that dying?"

"I don't know," Xemnas replied. "I'm not fully sure about what the spell would do. I was hoping that we would get how hearts back, but I was mistaken."

"I got a question," Shell raised her hand. "Why hasn't heartless come and try to take over?"

"Because the heartless can't get in." Xemnas replied. "It was hard enough for us to come through, let alone heartless. We are still extremely weak because of the barrier around this world. If heartless were to penetrate this then the barrier would be open forever."

"I need to talk to my accomplice real quick." Fancy informed and pulled Shell into the laundry room. "I say they stay."

"Same here," Shell replied. "Maybe we shouldn't leave them alone." And with that they walked back into the dining room. "You can stay here if you want."

"Thank you," Xemnas replied.

"Looks like leader has girlfriend." Marluxia smirked and Larxene hit the back of his head. "Ow! Damn it, Larxene!"

"We need to figure out the sleeping arrangements." Shell stated and Fancy sighed. "We have four spare rooms, the basement, the attic, and the pull out couch in the living room."

In the end this was the sleeping arrangements; Lexaeus was on the pull out couch; Vexen and Zexion were in the basement; Xion and Larxene had the attic; Axel and Roxas shared a room; Demyx and Xigbar were sharing a room; Xaldin and Luxord were also sharing a room; Xemnas and Saïx had to share a room as well; And Marluxia was stuck with sharing a room with Fancy.

"I still don't see why_ I_ have to share a room with _her_!" Marluxia whined while gesturing to Fancy.

"Consider it punishment for trying to overthrow the organization." Saïx replied with a growl.

"Well I need to clean my room." Fancy informed. "Shell, you should too."

"Yeah," Shell replied with a nod. "We'll be right back."

The two girls walked upstairs and walked to their rooms.

"I can't believe this is happening!" Fancy exclaimed.

"Me neither!" Shell agreed. "I wonder if they'll be alright by themselves."

"They'll be just fine!" Fancy reassured while she walked into her room.

"I sure hope so…" And with that Shell walked into her room. About twenty minutes passed and the two girls walked back downstairs. When they returned they saw Vexen being restrained by Saïx and Axel hiding behind Lexaeus. "What the hell?"

"Axel came to, and Vexen tried to kill him." Zexion explained, scaring Fancy half to death.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" Fancy cried. Zexion just rolled his eyes. "I'm going to bed!"

"Same here," Shell replied with a yawn. "I suggest everyone do the same,"

"Yes, we should," Xemnas complied. And with that everyone went to bed…

…

_This is for Zaikia! She wanted someone to write a XemXShell fic and I rose up to the challenge. I hope this is good… Constructive criticism is accepted but flames are not! If you have any good ideas please feel free to share them! Review please! _


	2. Chapter 2

Wake Up Calls and Shopping

**~I only own Fancy, Shell belongs to Zaikia~**

_There are only two kinds of men - the dead and the deadly.  
>- <em>_Helen Rowland_

…

Fancy woke up before everyone that morning. She sat up groggily, stepped over Marluxia, fed her pet snake, Rupert, and went downstairs to make breakfast. Half an hour later, she had two severing plates on the counter, filled with eggs, bacon, and sausage. She also had a bowl of fruit on the counter next to the plates. Now she faced the challenge of waking everyone up. Her thoughts were interrupted by a scream coming from her room. She walked up the stairs and to her room.

"What's with all the screaming?" Shell poked her head out of her room. Fancy just shrugged and walked into her room. She saw Marluxia on the floor, trying to get Rupert off his neck.

"Don't hurt Rupert!" Fancy yelled while pulling Rupert off Marluxia's neck. Rupert wrapped around Fancy's hand while she stroked him.

"He was hurting me!" Marluxia defended. "How did you get a pet snake anyway?"

"I bought him," She replied while putting Rupert back into his tank. "From Pet Smart,"

Fancy walked out of the room and noticed that everyone was still asleep or went back to sleep. She sighed and walked downstairs, into the kitchen. She was still stuck with the dilemma with waking everyone up when an idea came to her. She walked over to the counter and pulled open a draw. She pulled out a bullhorn and walked down to the basement. She stuck her head in and put the bullhorn to her lips.

"Wake up or I'll feed your breakfast to Rupert!" She hightailed it out of there and went to the second floor. "Wake up! Your breakfast is getting cold!" She ran up to the attic to see Larxene and Xion already awake. "Come get breakfast!" Fancy ran back to the kitchen to see everyone already getting food. "Looks like y'all are awake." She was then pelted with many flower pedals, courtesy of Marluxia. She spit out some pedals from her mouth while Shell laughed at her friend. Fancy started to pick the pedals out of her hair while she walked into the living room.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Zexion asked Fancy while sitting at the table.

"She doesn't eat breakfast." Shell explained, since Fancy did not hear him because she put her earphones in and was listening to "Panic! At the Disco". "She claims that it sickens her to eat in the mornings."

"Sarah smiles, like Sarah doesn't care! She lives in a world so unaware! Does she know that my destiny lies with her?" Fancy sung out of tune to the song and Shell threw a spoon at her.

"Quiet you!" Shell commanded. Fancy huffed and stomped up to her room. She returned moments later with Rupert in hand.

"I'm going to put Rupert in the sunroom!" Fancy informed loudly, obviously still listening to her music. "He needs some sun!"

"You don't have to yell." She mumbled. Fancy returned moments later and looked at Shell. "What?"

"The guys need normal clothes." Fancy stated. Shell nodded in response. Xigbar appeared from the ceiling, scaring Fancy half to death.

"What's wrong with our clothes?" He asked and Fancy wacked him with a broom.

"No appearing out of nowhere!" She yelled and Xemnas chuckled while Shell was on the ground laughing. That's when Shell noticed that only Xigbar, Zexion, Saïx, and Xemnas were in the room besides Fancy and herself. "And too many people would recognize you guys!"

"Why would they recognize us?" Saïx narrowed his eyes. "We have never been to this world before. There is no way anyone would know us."

"That is where you are wrong sir!" Shell pounded her fist onto the table dramatically. "We have heard of you! You are legends in our world! Some think that you are evil and others think that you are awesome." Fancy mouthed 'Nice save' to Shell.

"Well that's nice to know." Xemnas replied. "We know that you're lying but we'll just wait and see what the truth is." Shell sighed and Fancy went to the sunroom. Fancy took Rupert to her room and returned with her purse.

"So, who are we taking with us?" Fancy asked the brunette. Shell stopped and thought for a moment.

"Xemnas, Zexion, Larxene, and Xion." Shell replied.

"Alright, what's going on?" Xemnas eyed the two girls.

"We're going shopping," Shell answered the man. Fancy pulled out her wallet and counted her money.

"Alright," Fancy sighed. "I have about five grand. So that should last."

"How the hell did you get five grand?" Shell yelled.

"You remember Josh?" Shell nodded in response. "He threw his golden watch at me when I called him a jackass and told him his family was jacked up. I'm _so _glad we're not dating anymore."

"So you hocked it and kept the money a secret!" Shell cried.

"I was saving it up for collage!" Fancy defended. "But this is far more important!"

"I guess you're right." Shell sighed. "Let's get going,"

…

"_I said, excuse me you're one hell of guy, I mean my, my-"_

"Stop messing with the radio!" Shell and Fancy screamed at Xemnas. Fancy put an Evanescence CD and sighed. Currently Shell was driving, Xemnas was in the passenger seat, Fancy was between them. Larxene, Xion, and Zexion were in the backseat, making a racket.

"Silence!" Shell boomed. "I keel you!"

"Are they pissing you off- fafa?" Fancy laughed.

"Finally, we're here!" Shell cheered. They pulled into the mall parking lot and drove up and down the rows multiple times. Finally they found a spot and were about to pull in when a black Prius cut them off and drove into the spot. Shell slammed onto the horn and breaks. A girl and a boy walked out of the car and Fancy flipped. She reached over and rolled Xemnas's window done.

"What the hell?" she screeched and they turned. "I'm going to kill you!" She then crawled over Xemnas and crawled out of the window. She stalked towards the pair and they looked at her without a care in the world.

"What do you what?" The girl snapped. She had bleached blonde hair, dark brown eyes, and scowl on her face. The boy next to her had messy black hair, blue eyes, and looked ready to run.

"Your head on a platter!" Fancy snapped. Shell quickly found a space and ran to Fancy with Larxene, Xemnas, Xion, and Zexion on her tail.

"You don't want to do this here." Shell whispered in Fancy's ear.

"And who is this cutie?" The girl squealed when she saw Zexion. Then she turned to Xemnas. "And a hottie too? Why are outcasts the ones who get all the good looking ones?"

"Back off, Miley!" Fancy barked at the blonde. Miley sighed and turned to Fancy.

"Why must you ruin everything?" Miley snapped. The boy put a hand on Miley's shoulder.

"Just leave them be," He told her. "They're not worth it."

"Traitor!" Both Shell and Fancy screamed. "Damn you Randy!" He just glared at them and guided Miley away from there.

"Who were they?" Zexion asked Fancy.

"A bitch and a traitor!" Fancy replied. Shell clamped her hand on Fancy's mouth.

"There are children present; don't start cussing them out." Shell whispered into the bluenette's ear. Fancy mumbled something and pried Shell's hand off her mouth.

"I call Zexion and Larxene!" Fancy yelled randomly.

"Then I'll take Xion and Xemnas." Shell smirked at her friend. And with that they went into the store.

_Shell's Adventures_

"Xemnas, where did you go?" Shell called out. Xion was looking at clothes while Shell was looking for Xemnas. She looked around the corner to see a group of girls swooning over him. She growled and stomped over.

"Oh my gosh! Are you like a model?" One girl squealed.

"Or were you like born hansom?" Another asked.

Xemnas looked to Shell and mouthed 'Help me' to her.

"OMG!" Shell yelled. "Is that the Jonas Brothers?"

"WHERE?" The girls ran off and Xemnas sighed in relief.

"Thanks," Xemnas replied.

"No prob." Shell smiled at him and they went back to shopping.

_Fancy's Adventure_

"What store are we going into next?" Larxene asked Fancy while Zexion groaned; He was the one carrying all the bags.

"Hot Topic," She groaned. "The place I work at, it's a great store but my boss is a dick-weed."

"Aren't all bosses dicks?" Zexion pointed out.

"Yeah, but he's a full blown dick-_weed!" _Fancy cried out earning many looks. "What are _you _looking at?" They soon made it to "Hot Topic" and were greeted by a girl about Shell's age. (A/N: Let me point out that Shell is eighteen and Fancy is fourteen. Fancy also has glasses and Shell's hair has blue and red streaks. That's about it.)

"Welcome to Hot Topic!" She greeted cheerfully then her smile turned into a frown. "Get your shit and get out."

"Nice to see you too!" Fancy replied cheerfully, and then turned to Larxene and Zexion. "Knock yourselves out," The two went to look at clothing while Fancy looked at the blue hair dye.

"FANCY!" A man yelled. Fancy flinched and turned to see her boss stalking towards her. "You are five hours late! Where the f*ck were you?" Fancy rolled her eyes.

"I called earlier to tell you that I was taking the day off," She retorted rudely. "But you wouldn't quit yelling about Randy quitting, so I hung up."

"I should fire you!" He screamed not even listening to her. "But you're the only one who knows how to sell the Kingdom Hearts-"

"Oh!" She yelped releasing that Zexion and Larxene were looking at the Kingdom Hearts merchandise. She pushed past her boss and ran to the others. She stepped in front of them and pushed them away muttering, "Oh, nothing to see here! Let's keep moving!"

"Fancy!" Her boss yelled once again. "Stop being so disrespectful to me!"

"Sorry sir," She replied while the other two put their stuff onto the counter. "But I honestly don't give damn." She quickly paid the girl and pushed the others out of the store. "Thank everything on Earth that's over!"

"What was all that Sora crap?" Larxene snapped at Fancy. "It was like people were buying stuff from our enemy or something!"

"Err," Fancy sighed. "I'll tell you later? We need to find Shell before I die from shopping.

…Later…

All of the residents of the household were sitting in front of the TV watching "Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos" when the doorbell rang. Fancy sighed, paused the show, and walked to the door. When she opened it she saw Randy looking ready to pull his hair out.

"I'm sorry!" He screamed while dropping to his knees. "I should have never made Miley my girlfriend! She's annoying and- and won't stop shopping and she's a bitch and- and- and-" He trailed off and clung onto Fancy's leg's. "I'm sorry!"

"Get off!" She screamed at the older boy. "This means you lose the bet then,"

"I don't care, Fancy-" She kicked him slightly.

"Just give me my money and you can go inside." Fancy replied playfully. He got up and gave her twenty dollars. They both walked in and Randy cocked his head.

"Explain," He demanded Fancy.

"Organization 13 is living with us," She replied seriously.

"Alright, I'm game," He shrugged and sat in-between Xion and Larxene. "Hello ladies,"

"Damn man-whore," Fancy and Shell muttered.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Victoria: Randy was unplanned!

Vicky: As was Rupert and Miley!

Victoria: My hands just wrote it down!

Vicky: On other news, I am Vicky! Victoria's inner bitch!

Victoria: The sad thing is, it's true, and I hear Vicky talk to me regularly.

Vicky: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Victoria: Review!

Vicky: Or I keel you!


	3. Chapter 3

Drunks and School

**-I do not own KH-**

_My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section._  
>- <em><strong>Norm Crosby <strong>_

"Wake up!" Shell screamed while yanking the sheet from underneath the sleeping bluenette. Fancy cried out in surprise while she landing on Marluxia, waking him up as well.

"What the hell?" Marluxia yelled while pushing the teenager off of him. "Why are you up so damn early?"

"It's Monday," Shell replied with a groan, making Fancy play dead. "You're not fooling anybody,"

"Does it matter? I'm going to be dead by the end of the day anyway," Fancy mumbled.

"And why would that be?"

"Miss Killer is out to get me!" Fancy cried out while standing. "You're lucky; you get to leave this year- I have to stay for another four years!"

"Quit whining and get ready. Marluxia leave."

"What, why?"

"Because I said so."

…

"Kill me please!" Fancy begged Saïx. "I beg of you!"

"Leave me alone or I will kill you."

"That's all I ask! I can't go back- its torture there! Please kill me now!" Shell grabbed the bluenette by the collar of her hoodie and tried to pull her off Saïx.

"Let go you little brat!" Saïx demanded while trying to shake her off.

"Let go and I'll cook super tonight." Xaldin stated while turning the newspaper page. Needless to say Fancy let go and was dragged to the door. Randy waved like an idiot at the two as they left the house.

"Don't worry guys! I'll make sure everything goes smoothly!" Randy yelled at the girls. "I'll make them breakfast and lunch-"

"Don't burn my house down!" Shell yelled over her shoulder. When Shell finally pulled Fancy out the door, Randy, the master of stupidity, slammed the door and turned to the others with a wide grin.

"Who wants to raid the liquor cabinet?"

…

Fancy groaned as she banged her head on her desk, multiple times. Shell sighed as she watched her friend give herself a concussion.

"Still emo, white trash?" Fancy let a low growl as she gripped her text book. Her rival, Jared, just smirked at turned to Shell with hearts in his eyes.

"Shelby~"

"Screw you, Jared." Shell then got up and pushed the brunette to the ground. "Quit stalking me. I'm going to class, see ya Fancy." Fancy just let a noise while Shell left.

"Bitch." Jared muttered to Fancy, while she threw a pencil at him.

"Quit sucking up to me and leave me be!"

…

"Luxord, are you putting whiskey in your tea?"

"No, darling it's rum."

"Oh God."

"QUIT YELLING AT ME!"

…

"My Randy-did-something-stupid senses are tingling." Shell mumbled to herself.

"What was that?" The teacher asked.

"Nothing sir."

…

"I hate school!" Fancy yelled while throwing her bag onto the couch.

"Likewise," Shell agreed while throwing her bag onto the cough as well. A scream of "What the hell did you idiots do?" came from the kitchen. Shell sighed and walked to the kitchen. There in the ruins of the kitchen was Luxord, Randy, Xigbar, and Demyx were dancing in a circle, obviously drunk. Shell's eyes filled with rage, making Fancy hide behind the dining table.

"They're going to die now…" Fancy whispered, fearing what would happen next.

[This scene has been censored because the authoress is not going to change the rating to M]

Randy's hand twitched as he looked up at Shell with two black eyes.

"What. Did. You. Do. To. MY. KITCHEN?" Shell boomed, making Xemnas and Saïx come down the stairs to find out what the commotion was.

"Oh good you're here," Xemnas smiled at the brunette. "Now we can let Axel out."

"I know I'm going to regret this," Fancy mumbled. "But where's Axel?"

"We locked in the basement because those morons gave him four worms (The things in Tequila, I think) and now he's hallucinating." Zexion replied while walking from out of nowhere, making Fancy jump.

"Stop doing that!" Fancy scowled at him. Somehow Fancy, Shell, Xemnas, and Zexion made their way to the basement while Saïx scrapped the others off the ground. Fancy cautiously opened the door to see Axel dancing to salsa music. He looked as if he was dancing but no one else was there. Shell walked to him with the others fallowing behind.

"Axel, do you know that you're dancing?" Shell asked slowly.

"Yeah, I know." Axel replied with a smile.

"Do you know that you're dancing alone?"

"No I'm not." He replied.

"Now you have to dip me Axel." The bunny Axel was dancing with said. He did so and Fancy threw Shell a flashlight.

"Fallow the pretty light Axel." Shell commanded while shining the light in his eyes. He did so while they walked back upstairs.

-6:00 the next morning-

"Hey, Luxord," Randy whispered to the blond; the two were both in the living room with massive hangovers. "My head hurts."

"Quit yelling." Luxord whispered back.

"I'll quit yelling when you quit screaming." Randy whispered in a hushed tone.

"Good morning!" Fancy boomed, making the two groan. "Breakfast six, naps at nine, there bubble gum in the baby's hair-"

"SHUT UP!" Xaldin screamed while throwing a shoe at Fancy. Luxord and Randy gripped their heads; today's going to be a LONG day…

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Victoria: I am so, so, so sorry! I've been so busy, with Thanksgiving and Halloween (It's my favorite holiday but this year it was boring and painful- don't ask why) and Christmas is on its way. Just so tired…

Vicky: And now I'm here!

Victoria: AHHH! My brain is taking over, NOOOO!

Vicky: I recent that!

Victoria: My head hurts…

Vicky: Thank you, thank you, I try my best.

Victoria: … Please review.

EDIT: I'm so sorry! I forgot the quote! But I fixed it! I'm about to type the chapter up! Woo!


	4. Chapter 4

Aunt Kitty and Monkeys

**-Oh trust me, I don't own KH-**

_I'm sick of everyone saying I married my husband for money. It just so happens I get turned on by liver spots.  
>- <em>_Anna Nicole Smith _

…

The members of the household, plus Randy, were sitting around the table, eating cereal, and talking about Christmas, that was only around the corner.

"I don't get it, why do you need to get a plastic tree out of the basement?" Vexen looked at the two suspiciously.

"Because we need it in the living room, so we can put presents under it." Shell explained while Fancy cleaned the bowls up.

"Speaking of which, we need to get more money for Christmas shopping." Fancy called from the kitchen. A shrill ringing came from the telephone, making the men, excluding Randy, jump up in surprise. "Calm down! Damn, would've thought you'd know what a phone is…" Fancy picked up the phone. "Hello? Oh, hey Mrs. Hartford, how's the cruse? Oh that's good, ok, here's Shell." Fancy handed Shell the phone.

"Hey, mom," Shell smiled while Xemnas looked at her, probably trying to listen on her conversation with her mother.

"Hey Marly," Fancy barked to the pinkette while he walked into the kitchen. "You missed breakfast,"

"So? You kept me up with your studying." He snapped irritably. "Thank Kingdom Hearts you're on winter break now."

"Well, I'm not making you breakfast." Fancy retorted while walking away.

"But I'm hungry!"

"Make it yourself."

"Fine," Marluxia huffed while opening the cabinet. He pulled out a pack of "poptarts" and a plate. He popped them into the microwave and smiled to himself. "I can do this shit too."

…

"So what's happening?" Fancy asked Shell. The only people at the table were Xemnas, Zexion, and Saïx.

"Mom and dad can't come home for Christmas," Shell explained sadly, making Xemnas feel something unusual. "But on the brightside, Aunt Kitty is coming to stay for Christmas."

"Oh, is she bringing Joey?" Fancy asked with enthusiasm, making Zexion raise an eyebrow.

"Joey?" Zexion asked them.

"He's a cute albino capuchin monkey," Fancy squealed while getting right in his face, making him blush slightly. Saïx raised an eyebrow to his superiors, wondering why they were acting the way they were.

"What's wrong with-" Saïx was cut off by a loud explosion from the kitchen.

They ran to the kitchen in haste and were greeted by the microwave on fire. Xemnas and Zexion stepped in front of the two girls while Saïx called for Demyx.

…

Marluxia's body twitched as he lay in a crumpled ball on the floor. Shell growled while she and the equally furious Fancy mopped the kitchen.

"Flower boy set the place on fire and the water boy floods it." Shell muttered while she plopped the mop into the bucket.

"WHO FORGETS TO TAKE THE WAPPING OFF THE POPTARTS?" Fancy screamed at Marluxia while hitting him with the mop. "YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING IN MY ROOM TONIGHT!"

"Thank goodness you two are finally done!" Randy cheered while striding in. "What do you want me to do with what's left of the wreckage and the microwave?"

"Take the microwave to the dump." Shell demanded. "Marluxia can go to hell for all I care."

"YOU ARE SUCH A DUMBASS!" Fancy screamed at Marluxia.

…

Luxord sat with Fancy, Shell, Axel, and Xigbar at the dining table, playing poker.

"I'm so glad I'm not in trouble." Axel whispered to Xigbar while they both watched Fancy and Shell talk about plans to kill Marluxia.

"Straight," Luxord declared while setting his cards down and smirking at the others.

"Royal Flush," Fancy smirked back. A knocking at the door interrupted the game. Shell walked to the door passing Randy, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Xaldin, who were watching TV.

"Oh no, I'll get it," Shell declared in a mocking tone. "No need for you to get it. Thanks for asking." Shell opened the door to be greeted by her Aunt Kitty. Kitty was a thin, tall, woman with long black hair tied up in a high ponytail. Beside her was Joey, the monkey, who was dressed as a bellhop and was pulling a small suitcase. "Hey Aunt Kitty-" Shell was cut off by a blue blur zooming past her and hugging Joey.

"HE'S SO CUTE~!" Fancy squealed while hugging the monkey.

"Are you still giving her sugar?" Kitty whispered to Shell, who nodded.

"And apparently I'm still giving Randy liquor." Shell replied. "What's new?"

"Oh, I forget to tell your mother but, I brought my new fiancé!" Kitty squealed while flashing her ring. In a flash Rand was outside and was viewing the diamond.

"Hmm, fourteen carats… I'm taking the Black Widow found a new victim?" Randy smirked making Kitty huff.

"For your information, I really love him."

"Where is he then?"

"In the car." At that moment a little old man walked to the door pulling along suitcases. "There he is now."

"Family meeting, NOW!" Shell pulled her Aunt and Fancy, who STILL had Joey in his arms, to the laundry room. "How much?"

"He's worth five million," Kitty explained. "Please, please, please, just let him stay! And Randy can marry us-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, what?" Fancy gaped. "Why should the moron-that-never-goes-home marry you two?"

"He's about to drop any minute, and I can't get the money until we're married."

"Fine," Shell sighed. "But we get five grand each, including Randy."

"Deal!" Kitty hugged her niece. "That's my little girl!"

…

Most of the household were all sitting in the living watching TV. Kitty walked in and smiled at them.

"I've got the bags put away!" She then looked at her fiancé, Albert. "Please tell me he's just asleep."

"Don't worry," Fancy waved her off. "He's fine."

It's was at that moment they heard a shrill scream from the kitchen.

"Ten bucks says it's Demyx," Randy said.

"I'll take that bet!" Fancy replied while running with the rest of the crew to the kitchen. When they got there they saw Demyx on the ground, twitching, and then they saw the microwave in the sink.

"I'm not asking." Kitty stated while walking away.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Victoria: Whoo!

Vicky: Shut up.

Victoria: No. Anyway I need to say something.

Vicky: The scene in the last chap (With the "quit yelling at me") does not belong to us.

Victoria: Yeah. I kinda forgot to give credit because it was one of those "spur of the moment" kinda things.

Vicky: We had other stuff for that but none of it was that good.

Victoria: So yeah, we no owny that.

Vicky: Please review!

Victoria: Oh and Christmas is going to be awesome cause I'll put up a great Christmas chappy!

Vicky: Like I said before, REVIEW!


	5. Chapter 5

Twas the Night Before Christmas

**-I do not own KH-**

_Even before Christmas has said Hello, it's saying 'Buy Buy'  
>- <em>_Robert Paul_

…

_Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the castle  
>Not a person was stirring, not even Axel.<br>Larxene's stockings were hung in the Grey Area with care,  
>In hopes that Xemnas wouldn't be there.<em>

_All members were nestled all snug in their beds,  
>While visions of naked girls danced in their heads.<br>And Xion with her keyblade, and I in my coat,  
>Had just settled the heartless that was on a boat.<em>

_When out by Kingdom Hearts there arose such a clatter,  
>I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.<br>Away to the window I flew like a flash,  
>Except I slipped and slid into the glass, causing a great crash.<em>

_The heart shaped moon gave off a creepy glow,  
>That gave no light to below.<br>When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  
>But a miniature ship, and eight tinny Dusks.<em>

_With a crazy drunk driver, so lively and quick,  
>I knew in a moment it must be Randy, the holiday hick.<br>More rapid than heartless his coursers they came,  
>And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!<em>

_"Now, Drinker, now, Player! Now, Gambler and Kevin!  
>On, Jackass! On, Moron! on Redneck and John!<br>To the top of the roof! To the top of the hall!  
>Now run away! Run away! Run away all, Fancy wants to drive but I don't know who to call!"<em>

_So up to the castle-top the coursers they flew,  
>With the sleigh full of booze, and his elves, Fancy and Shell, too.<em>

_And then, in a pounding, I heard on the roof  
>The prancing and pawing of each little foot.<br>As I drew in my head, and was turning around,  
>Down the chimney Randy came with a bound.<em>

_He was dressed all in leather, from his head to his foot,  
>And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.<br>A bundle of playboys and beers, he had flung on his back,  
>And he looked drunk, just opening his pack.<em>

_His eyes- they were dilated! He didn't look merry!  
>His cheeks were pale, his nose like a cherry!<br>He screamed up the chimney, "You bitches, making me work when I'm sick!"  
>A shrill cry replied, "Shut up or you'll be hit!"<em>

_He held a cigarette tight in his teeth,  
>And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.<br>He had a smooth face and a skinny pair of abs,  
>That made the fangirls swoon, like he was about to be nabbed!<em>

_She was skinny and tall, a right jolly young elf,  
>And I smiled when I saw her, in spite of myself!<br>A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,  
>Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.<em>

_He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,  
>And stole all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.<br>And taking a moment to blow his nose,  
>And giving a nod, up the chimney they rose!<em>

_He ran to his sleigh, to his team gave an angry shout,  
>And away they all flew like the down of a leap.<br>But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,  
>"Merry Christmas to all, oh you two, I'm going to kill you with a kite!"<em>

_-x-x-x-x-x-x-Merry-x-Christmas-x-x-x-x-x-x-_

_The authoress apologies for the stupidness,  
>The drunk Randy, crazy Fancy and Shell, and for the weirdness.<em>

_Sorry if it didn't rhyme,  
>She's not a lime.<em>

_Merry Christmas, please review!_


	6. AN

Hey guys. I won't be updating for a while. Why? My grandpa died today (3/16/2012). And my mom is taking it hard and so am I. I will also be writing something very special, based off a dream I had last night. It won't be posted on FF or any other site. If I do it right, you'll be seeing my face everywhere. Haha, like it'll be as famous as Harry Potter. But I will write it. I'll be very busy for a while, so I'll update when I can, ok? Hope ya'll have a nice night.


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